Uzmerica: October 2011

As of 10/4, I'm back in the USA.

While I was ready to come home at the end of my near-month-long trip and looked forward to coming back to a place with privacy, not having unexpected visitors at any given moment, being able to make more of my own decisions, and to understanding what is being discussed, I do find myself missing several things. At nearly any moment, I could walk through Murod's house and find children ready to hug, kiss, & play with me; we had home-cooked meals every day that never took less than an hour to prepare; there was a seeming necessity for community, to visit neighbors, family, and friends, to continue strong relationships, that here, after moving away to another location, are often discontinued; there is a respect between adolescents and adults, as well as between husbands and wives, that seems to be lost/frequently missing here.

To give more of a day-by-day, below are excerpts from my journal that I kept throughout the trip. Click on the pictures to view them larger.

9/12/2011
Murod and I arrived in Uzbekistan on the 10th after leaving NY on the 8th and having a 16 hour layover in Moscow.

We have been in Tashkent at Murod's Uncle Komil's house with his Aunt Amina, cousins Sherzod & his wife Faruxat, and their children, Jahonsher & Aziza. I have met so many people so far---more extended family and friends. Everyone is so friendly and welcoming, and sooo interested in American information!

Jahonsher & Aziza

We have gone to the market & Murod finally got his diploma after 6 years~"red" diploma = "with highest honors"...MUROD IS SO DONO {wise}!

Tashkent is very nice downtown. There are lots of parks & gardens, beautifully manicured, very pretty buildings, & it's so clean. I saw one cigarrette butt on the ground. THe subways also are incredibly clean. No trash anywhere, people don't spit inside, or litter. And the architechture of the stations could be a museum!

Today, I helped Ona {mom} to make pelmeni...or, more like I asked her to show me & I made some defect lookalikes :)

Pelmeni

I have figured out the answer to a wonder I'd been having, which was, do the women seem to be viewed as less equal to the men - not quite in an oppressed sense, but just less than? My answer is no. The women indeed do things here the Americans nowadays would view as women in an oppressed state, but they aren't at all. The women can/do work outside the home (Ona is a Physics teacher and Faruxat is an Uzbek grammar teacher...Amina used to practice law). The women do all of the cooking (though men sometimes do too) and cleaning, while the men do the hard labor. Everyday is filled with homemade foods and every meal, and any time a guest enters the home, food is put in front of them. Here, hospitality is extremely important.

Also, women are very respected, just as their male counterparts are. Both genders sit together, talking, laughing, etc. While they may not show romance or go shopping with one another, this should not be mistaken as a sign of oppression or disrespect. In fact, on the level of what each gender does in the home and the respect shown to each other, as well as from the children to all adults, it is exactly what has been missing in the American culture of the past 45 years, I do believe. Speaking of children, if they are sitting down and someone older than they are comes, even if other seats are available, they stand up and move.

I have had some difficulties, just because I can't speak to anyone at all, and it's hard because I want to communicate so badly, but I can't. But, I'm tryin gto use words I know or look up in the dictionary and it usually works, but sometimes what I say still doesn't make sense.

9/13/2011
Another very good thing is food does not go wasted. If food on the plate isn't finished, it isn't thrown away as habitually and rapidly as it would be in America. Everything is put back with the whole pot and used again.

The people dress so well, too. It reminds me of the US decades ago~everyone always looking nice and put together.

Subway Station

9/15/2011
3 neighbor girls came over today saying they wanted to practice their English with me and as we were sitting, about 7 little kids (neighbors) came from nowhere to sit, listen, and watch. I think it's so interesting for people here to have an American. Even when we are in cabs or at a store, people will ask Murod where I'm from when they realize I don't speak U zbek or Russian, and the remainder of the conversation is all about the American and the US! Aziza said she wants to trade skin colors with me and her mom told her to sit close to me so she could get more white...hahaha :)

9/16/2011
Another interesting thing/difference: there isn't much in the way of food hygiene. Obviously, in the markets, food is just out in the sun & bare-handed handled, but in the home, people share everything, reuse a drank-from cup, etc. I saw raw chicken being handled and the hands kept on going elsewhere without being washed. Also, if there's no soap left to wash dishes, you just wash with water, and your hands are used for a lot of things that I'm used to using utensils for (sometimes eating, but in the kitchen, cleaning/scraping things off). Actually, even when there is soap, I haven't seen anybody use it except for when I wash the dishes. The house is very clean, and after meals, everything is immediately cleaned up.

Also, nobody enters the house with shoes, ever, and never walks ouside without shoes.

Indoor Toilet

Here, in Tashkent, there is a toilet in the house and outside. Murod said he thinks they redid the bathroom at his house in Khazarasp, because of me (HA!), but I'm not sure how different it will be from here.

9/18/2011
It's 3:30am and we got up at 2 to come to the airport to see if we can get on a flight to Urganch at 4am. Urganch is the nearest airport to Khazarasp.

Last night, the neighbor girls from the other day came back and invited me to another neighbor's house. I went and of course, they served a full multi-course meal, per the norm, and we practiced English. Two of the girls were really good and at first, there were 5 of us. Soon, about 8 little kids came in & out, and later, 2 older brothers came and one of them was also practicing English. Near the end, they asked me to sing songs, so I sang Happy Birthday, Twinkle Twinkle, If You're Happy & You Know It --- which, all 3 of those they knew! One girl requested Yesterday and We Wish You A Merry Cmas, and I also sang Up On The Rooftop, A Spoonful of Sugar, Supercalifragi..., and surprised them with an Uzbek folk song.

***

At 3:45am, they told us we could get on the flight (seems a $100 Benji had some influence), and after everything was rush-printed, etc., we went through the most simplistic-ever security and got on a bus that took us to the awaiting plane, which we boarded around 4:10am.

9/19/2011
We landed yesterday morning around 5:30am & Murod's cousin drove us to Murod's home in Khazarasp, which was about 30-45 mins away. That's when I finally realized & felt I was somewhere else and somewhere very different from home.

The roads weren't great in Tashkent, but they were at least more paved and divided. Here, it's all worn-out/nearly dirt roads with the biggest holes everywhere. People lined the streets getting water from a well, doing morning work, or just waiting for (presumably) someone to pick them up. I saw about 2 dozen donkey-and horse-pulled carts, carryin gwheat & others goods, as well as a few herds of sheep & goats with their shephards...including one herd with an anxious goat "jumping" on his lady companion.

Beginning with me, going left: Murod, Grandpa, Dad, Rasulbek, Mom

Eating plov at Oybek's

Melons

Birthday Cake

As we arrived at Murod's house, I really didn't know what to expect...the house is really beautiful and big. The inside isn't very different (from what I'm used to), but outdoors is where it's at! They have a garden with fruits, vegetables, grape vines, & most importantly of all...the outhouse. When I think "outhouse", I think of a porta-potty-type where there's a seat. Oh no...nope...not even. This is a hole in the floor above a pit of ohhh-my-goshness.

We saw Murod's dad, his brother, Oybek, some uncles & other neighbors, his sister, Anajon, Dilshod's wife, Nasiba, & the endless kids~which was not all of them---Asalhon, Rasulbek (Dilshod), Furkat, Farukh, Feruza (Oybek), Mavlonbek, Sumbul, & Mahrinizo (Anajon). Later, different groups of people came over and I was dressed in Uzbek wedding gear and bowed to them and served tea, in traditional Uzbek style. A new bride is supposed to be "shy" at first and not see the strangers until the veiled bow.

In the evening, we went to Murod's grandpa's house (dad's dad). He is Murod's last remaining grandparent. It was so good for Murod to see & talk to him :) There were 7 of us at the table, but about 10-15 other younger kids/teenagers (cousins) peering into the room. We ate and then went outside to see the cow and its calf, and then took a bunch of pictures with the cousins.

When we came home, about a million people were awaiting us ~ many men outside, wom I didn't see, & many women inside, whom I bowed to and served. At the end of the night, we had a birthday cake Murod's mom got for me :)

It was an entirely unexpected day of events, but a really great experience!

9/20/2011
I've noticed men don't look at women much. As far as it goes on the street, that's a great difference, to not have rubbernecks and cat callers. Some men do look at me a lot, but I think it's just because I look so different...and I'm in Uzbek clothes!

We went to the bank earlier, and the women were all freaking otu that I was an American bride to an U zbek man, and I was in Uzbek clothes, and I have an Uzbek last name (well, partly). They came from behind the counters to marvel and talk. It's so funny!

Catching the sheep that got loose

Putting sheepy back

Donkey Cart

In The Country

Edge of the Desert - Near Turkmenistan

Watch the Road!

9/22/2011
Yesterday, Murod had his guy friends over for the start of the wedding celebration party, and he estimated it around 30-40 guys. They were all outside, and about 20-30 women and 20 kids were inside. There was a dancer and musicians, who came inside for a while, and everybody danced (I didn't, since I'm the bride), which was fun to watch.

***

We just got back from the wedding & it was sooo great!! It was just about 3.5 hours, but it was a lot of fun. We had a big walk-in entrance, where I bowed and then when we got to the stage where we were to sit, I bowed again. The majority of the time, we were just takin gpictures---there were 1,000 people there and guests were coming nonstop to take pictures. Murod did tell the photographers to stop at a certain point though because it was getting too much and we wanted to enjoy the music and dancing. Near the end, we got up and danced and people gave us money. Son after that, we had our exit, where I bowed to Murod's parents and then we left. People spoke a lot during the wedding too (speeches), and whenever somebody was speaking, we had to stand up. Sumbul, Farukh, Asalhon, & Rasulbek were our wedding party :)

New Bride Bowing - Veil & Robe

Setting Up for the Guys' Party

Inside Party - 1 Day Before Wedding

Dancer at the Party

Ready for the Wedding

Me, Asalhon, & Rasulbek

9/26/2011

Last night was good at Murod's Uncle's house. Sooooo much food though. Course after course. Fried fish, broiled fish, lamb & potatoes (which I don't think anyone ate), fruit, pelmeni soup, melon.

9/28/2011

Last night, we went to 2 Uncle's houses and tonight, we're going to Anajon's and tomorrow to Oybek's, Nasiba's mom's house, and another Uncle's.

I emailed with mom & dad and that was really great to talk to them. I'm looking forward to non-smelliness/unusual smells, consistent water flowage & electricity, and a TOILET!!!

Murod & I went to Khiva by ourselves (cab) yesterday.

I've have so much plov and soup, I can't possibly think of having more. I went with Nasiba the other day to the tandur place to bake the non {bread} & helped to make chebureki, a dumpling with eggs/cream, more pelmeni, stuffed peppers, and oliviye today. I've had Nasiba's cherry kompote & strawberry preserves---sooo good!, and I've worked a lot...not hard labor or anything, but not a "vacation"!

The well water is just for drinking. The sink/shower water is from a pump in the ground run off the electricity, which flows through a hose into two separate barrels, hot & cold, on top of the house.

10/1/2011

Desert

Camels in the Desert

Goats

We're driving through the Uzbek desert to Bukhara!

10/2/2011
We're now in Samarqand. We've been driving with Murod's cousin, Sanjar & yesterday, we saw Bukhara, last night we saw a part of Samarqand because it was lit up for the night, and we'll go back to see the rest today and then go to Tashkent tonight.

On the 30th, we said goodbye to Murod's grandpa & most of his Uncles, Oybek's family, and Anajon, & Mohira came over and all of Murod's siblings were with us until we left at 2:30am. Nasiba gave me a ring, typical of many I've seen on Uzbek women's fingers, and when we went to Anajon's on the 28th, she gave me an Uzbek hat & shoes after she & I had been dancing. While we were waiting for Sanjar to pick us up, we were all dancing, which was really fun and funny because I was trying imitate their Uzbek moves, and I was just being a little crazy ;)

Khiva - Camel Ride!

Khiva

10/3/2011
Samarqand was really nice - Murod was even very surprised because it was so much different then he remembered...it was very clean, modern, and new-looking...also the hometown of the current President.

We're in Tashkent now, back at the home we began our trip in. I leave at 6am tomorrow morning and just have an hour layover in Moscow.

My trip here has been such an interesting experience. I have experienced so many new things, (seemingly) walked back in time, had ups & downs, several challenging times, and plenty of warm-hearted, loving people, whom I now call "family". While I believe it would take many months to reach a more fully-comfortably adjusted state, I feel I was reaching a comfort level that was helping to manage day-to-day near the end of the trip.

Bukhara - Old Jail

Bukhara - A Ceiling

Bukhara

I saw so many new, unexpected, interesting things. I was stared at constantly, but never felt unsafe or threatened, as I many have felt in my own country. I believe it first comes from the fact I'm wearing Uzbek clothes and then that mixed with my "blonde" hair that is typically down, and blue eyes.

In Tashkent, most people thought I was/tried to speak to me in Russian. In Khiva, it was English, & Bukhara, French.